I'm not really sure who came up with the idea that being pregnant is the most beautiful time in a woman's life, but if I had to guess it was some ignorant man who had no idea what truly happens to a women's body throughout the 40 weeks of pregnancy.
To watch my body change and have no control over it is incredibly hard. Maybe it's easier for the women who never had to fight to be healthy or fit or strong, but it's a serious mental challenge for me to grasp the idea to let my body do what it needs to do as I grow a very healthy little girl inside of me. I'm telling you I could eat carrot sticks all day every day and my body would still find a way to pack on the fat. Like seriously I feel like everything from my neck to my knees is changing and I have no control. How is that suppose to be beautiful?
Call it the pregnancy blues or just pregnancy truths, but I'm so over it. I'm tired of being hot and nauseous, not to be confused with hot and bothered. I'm tried of feeling like a hormonal/emotional wreck. I'm tired of not having the energy to play with Zeke. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and feeling disgusted. I'm tired of crying for no reason. I'm tired of feeling like I have no control. 33.5 weeks and I feel like I should be at 39, maybe it's the heat or maybe it's just this pregnancy.
Maybe I'm the only pregnant women who feels like this, or maybe I'm just the only one who is willing to put it out there. I promise I understand the miracle that is going on inside me, but just because I understand it doesn't make it easy.
The women that go on and on to me about how they loved being pregnant and it was the best time of their lives, let me tell you, it takes every ounce of will power I have to not sucker punch them in that moment. I am very happy for you, but let me go barf in my mouth.
I'm thankful for this sweet girl and the fact that I am able to be pregnant; however, it doesn't mean I can't honestly speak about what's going on throughout the process. We are over the moon excited for our little girl, I'm just not over the moon about being pregnant and if that doesn't make sense to you, I'm sorry. Call me hormonal or a wimp or whatever you wish, but I'm looking forward to the beautiful blessing to be here so I can go back to working my ass off, literally, and feeling somewhat normal.
So over being pregnant,
Mary
ps I'm way over due for a bump date, but I haven't exactly felt like taking a picture lately; however, I seriously plan to do a 34 week bump date next week!
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