Life as a Working Mom

I have been really stressed out the last couple of days and I don't know that stressed is the right word, maybe I should say exhausted.

The past few days I feel like I've just been pulled in a hundred different directions.

Like life is going on all around me and I can't even sit still and enjoy it.

AND I ONLY HAVE ONE CHILD!!! We talk about one day having more kids, but man I don't know how working women do it. I think the root of my exhaustion/stress comes from the worry of pumping and making enough food for little man! Since he sleeps all night he eats 5 oz every 3 hours and even with me pumping every 3 hours I'm not sure how long it will be before he catches up to our "supply." Sometimes I sit and wonder why I'm so stressed about it, we're not anti formula or I didn't think we were, but just thinking about switching him to formula makes me cringe. I know moms do it all the time and there are 1,000's of babies out there that are formula babies and are perfect, but I don't have an issue producing it's just so dang time consuming trying to keep up with his appetite. He is definitely a boy and I'm not sure we'll be able to afford him when he becomes a teenager. :) I guess I feel like since I can produce it'd be selfish to switch him to formula

But here's how a typical day for me looks:

-2:00 am wake up and pump (or try to some morning I sleep right through the alarm)

-6:00 am pump, get ready for work

(Kyle has bene amazing and feeds Zeke, changes his diaper and gets him ready)

-7:15 am leave the house, eat breakfast in the car

-7:30 am drop Zeke off at daycare

-8:00 am get to work

-9:00 am pump

-11:30 am pump (before workout)

-12-1 pm workout during lunch 

-1:00 pm eat lunch at my desk

-3:00 pm pump

-4:30 pm pick up Zeke

-4:45-6:30 pm play with Zeke and work around the house when he naps.

-6:00 pm pump

-6:30 Zeke eats

-6:45 Zeke plays while I cook dinner

-7-7:30 pm we eat (Zeke hangs out in his rocker at the table while we eat).

-7:30-8 pm clean the kitchen

-8-8:30/45 pm play with Zeke

-8:30/45 pm Zeke's bathtime

-8:45/9 Zeke gets last bottle

-9:15/30 pm Zeke goes to sleep

-9:30-10 Pump and Get my stuff ready for the next day, pack my lunch, set out Zeke's clothes, shower etc

-10:00/30 Bed

Now can someone please tell me how the HELL I am supposed to do all this with more than one child??

I am a full time working mother and while being a Stay at Home Mom would be nice, we just can't swing it and well I'm not quite sure I want to!

I often get asked if I think I'll ever be a SAHM, but unless we have twins or more, childcare for 3 kids would be INSANE, I'll always work. I do love coming to work! I have mixed feelings about being a SAHM. Before having Zeke, the thought never crossed my mind.Then my maternity leave came around and for 10 weeks I was spoiled! Zeke and I would run errands and I'd clean the house and get laundry done, go tan, get my nails done, cook dinner earlier etc etc and I'm not going to lie I did LOVE it for those 10 weeks.  But I also couldn't WAIT to get back to working. Just for the simple fact that I could start forcing myself to take care of ME. I could get back into a routine, eat healthy, drink my water, workout every day and have adult interaction! Sure it would be SO MUCH EASIER if I had a little more time to get things done during the day, if I didn't have to go into work and could stay at home taking care of business. But is that something I really want? Not really.

Don't get me wrong, I love Zeke to pieces, but if I was a SAHM I don't think I'd be taking very good care of myself. In some ways I am jealous of the SAHM's out there, in other ways, I am not. It does get me a little upset when I hear SAHM's say they are SOOO BUSY. Mainly because I am envious of how much time they actually DO have...

I'm not trying to step on any toes here, but a SAHM has approximately 12-14 hours to get everything they need to done on any given day. I have 5 hours. 

Five hours to squeeze in enough time with my son so I feel like I'm being a good mother rather than being selfish for being on the treadmill too long. Five hours to grocery shop, pick up the house, feed Zeke, play with Zeke, pay bills, teach spin class, cook dinner, do the dishes, spend time with my husband, and take care of myself. I'm not saying that just because you are a SAHM automatically means you have nothing to do! I am just saying that you have more time than me! All you SAHM's just know how blessed you are to be able to be with your child/children all day and not have to stress over if you are spending enough time with them. THAT is the part of a SAHM I am most jealous of.

Will I ever find a balance? How in the world will I ever do this with another child?

How do you balance work, kids, and getting or staying healthy?

I know when the time comes for me to have another child, I will somehow figure it out... its just weeks like this that make me wonder if I really can!

Here's to working and balancing the joys of life!

Mary